To Live, To Die
by Tifa Gainsborough
Summary: Image is important to so many people. To Tifa Lockheart it could be a matter of life and death.


The mirror reflected a young woman, happy and full of life

The mirror reflected a young woman, happy and full of life. Twirling in front of her reflection she smiled. The long red dress matched the color of her eyes. Long brown hair fell in waves around her face. _Four month reunion here I come_, she thought with a happy grin. 

Tifa Lockhart picked her small bag up off the table and set off. The 19th of every month the former members of AVALANCHE would get together. Four months ago they had defeated Sephiroth and watched as the world was saved. Never in her life had Tifa imagined she would be a witness to the most spectacular event ever. It was more like a rebirth for the world.

With a skip to her step Tifa walked out of her house in Kalm and waited. The Highwind soon became a tiny dot on the horizon as it flew into view. Tifa waved as it came closer, spotting Yuffie Kisaragi chasing Cait Sith across the deck. _Wonder which materia Cait stole from Yuffie this time._

As the Highwind touched down on the outskirts of town and Tifa quickened her pace to meet up with everybody. 

"Hello Tifa," Cloud Strife called.

Tifa clambered up the latter, mentally cursing the long dress. Cloud grabbed her hand and pulled her the rest of the way onto the Highwind. The two shared a brief hug then separated to join their friends. 

The group chatted well into the evening. Even the ever-silent Vincent Valentine had thrown in a word or two. 

"Hungry Tifa," Yuffie asked pointing to the pizza.

Looking over the pizza made Tifa's stomach turn. "No thanks."

With a snicker Yuffie waved a slice of pizza under Tifa's nose, "Ah, come on. Its so good."

"I'm just not hungry right now."

With a shrug of her shoulders Yuffie shoved half the slice into her mouth. Everybody raised an eyebrow at the young ninja then went back to eating. _How does she do it? Eating everything she wants and still remains thin?_

Tifa rested her chin on her fist and watched her friends with a tiny smile.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The breeze on the deck of the Highwind tugged lightly at Tifa's dress. Resting against the rail she watched as the ground soared by. _It's so pretty,_ Tifa realized watching as a small town disappeared from sight.

"Tifa," Cloud said coming to stand near here.

"Oh, hello Cloud," Tifa, said turning to face him. "How are you doing?"

Shrugging, Cloud watched Tifa closely. "I'm doing okay. How are you doing?"

Tifa turned back to face the night sky, peering up at the stars that sparkled against the dark background. 

"I'm going all right. I miss hanging out with everybody more than just one day a month. But I have a good job and like my home," Tifa said all in a rush.

_What am I saying? I'm miserable with my life. I hate my fucking life!_

"That's good to hear," Cloud said leaning against the rail. 

"Say Cloud," Tifa started, but paused. With a deep breath she continued, "would you be interesting in going out to dinner this weekend with me?"

Cloud remained still, staring out ahead of him not daring to look at her. Finally he was able to pull his eyes away from the scenery and look at her. In her eyes he could see wondering and an under laying emotion. 

"You mean like a date?"

Tifa looked up and then back down at him. "Yeah, I suppose you could call it a date."

"I'm sorry Tifa, I'm just not ready to date yet. I need to get my life in order right now," Cloud explained pushing back from the railing. 

_He hates me,_ she thought with bitter despair watching his retreating back.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rolling out of bed the next morning Tifa had an overpowering urge to run. In all her years of training she had never felt a strong pull to exercise. In fact she hated the idea of doing one simple pushup. 

Pulling on jogging shorts and an oversized black t-shirt Tifa dug through her sock drawer. _I'll just go for a quick jog_, Tifa told herself slipping on her socks and shoes.

The morning air was cold, slapping her in the face as she jogged around Kalm. Without a watch she was unaware of how much time had passed. When her legs began to cramp she realized that her jog had been longer than she expected. 

"Damn," she wheezed dragging herself into her house. 

Passing a clock on the way to her fridge she found her jog had lasted over two hours. _Amazing, I surprise even myself_, she through peering at the closed door of her fridge. Just the thought of food was making her nauseas. 

Her stomach growled in protests, informing Tifa that it didn't care what her brain thought. Her body needed food and it was telling her so.

"I suppose I can find something that won't make me feel sick," Tifa said out loud.

Moving from the fridge to the pantry provided her with more options. Digging through her pantry she pulled out different items, analyzing each one. _Hmm, too many calories, whoa, way too much fat. _With each item she pulled out she quickly passed up. Finally she settled on a bottle of water and some rice crackers. 

Staring at each rice cracker she picked up made her even more nauseas. Only after four crackers had she had enough. 

"All that weight I loss running, I probably just gained back," Tifa realized peering over the contents of the crackers.

A few seconds later found Tifa in her living room doing pushups. _One, two, three four, five,_ she counted mentally. Struggling through each pushup made her tired and left her muscles shaking. Just five more, she continued to tell herself. Her body was unable to take anymore and she collapsed. 

Picking herself up off the floor Tifa staggered up the stairs and to her bathroom. Stopping in front of the bathroom mirror Tifa looked over her reflection.

_No wonder Cloud doesn't like me,_ she realized pushing at her stomach. _I'm fat_.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Every morning Tifa found herself jogging. Everyday her root got longer and longer. Once she couldn't take jogging anymore she would return home and push her body to do pushups and sit-ups. 

After all of that she would find herself at the bathroom mirror again. Scrutinizing her image, taking in all the pounds and flabby skin. 

"Look at me," she told her reflection one day. "I'm huge. My clothes are too tight, my stomach hangs out."

With a scream Tifa ran to her bedroom and tore at her clothes. Ripping them from drawers and off hangers. Racing downstairs Tifa grabbed the contents of her fridge and threw them into the trashcan. 

Breathing deeply Tifa looked over what had just transpired. With a disgusted look she peered over the food remaining in her fridge. _Food. That's my problem I eat too much food. _

"Not anymore," Tifa whispered with a grin. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Three months had passed before Tifa saw her friends again. Looking into her reflection she saw a young woman with a deep expression. _I'm still so fat!_ In the last three months she had only lost twenty-five pounds from her hundred-thirty frame. 

Tugging on an oversized sweater and a baggy pair of jeans her mind began to wander. _I diet and exercise everyday but its still not enough._

The ringing of her doorbell echoing through her small house drove her from her thoughts. Trotting down the stairs Tifa went to greet her friends.

"Hi!" Her voice was cheerful as she pulled the door open.

Cloud and company returned the greeting. Tifa stepped aside to let them into the house. She had invited them all over for a home cooked meal. 

"Make yourself at home. Dinner should be ready soon." With that she disappeared into the kitchen. 

Humming to herself she prepared the meal for her friend. 

"Need any help?" Cloud asked appearing in the doorway.

"No thanks Cloud. I'm almost done," Tifa said. "But you can get the wine out of the fridge."

With a nod Cloud busied himself with the wine and searching for a corkscrew. By the time he had found it and successfully opened the bottle dinner was finished.

"Not eating Tifa," Cid asked a fork full of salad into his mouth.

Tifa shook her head taking a sip of her water. "That's all right. I'm just not hungry."

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Cloud watched Tifa as he took another bite of chicken. _She looks so unhealthy,_ Cloud thought looking her up and down. 

Tifa's skin was paler then he had ever seen it.Her clothes, although baggy, hung on her small frame. _Maybe it's just me or is her hair getting thinner_. Tifa must have seen him staring because her gaze focused on him.

"Something the matter Cloud?"

Quickly shaking his head he shoved the matter aside. Cloud continued to eat his dinner trying not to stare too much. He was simply imagining things. 

Two hours later and with everybody gone Cloud offered to do the dishes. With a nod Tifa agreed to allow him to help. 

"Was dinner alright?" Tifa asked rinsing a plate off.

"It was great as always," Cloud reassured her, taking the plate to dry it. 

"Good. I wasn't sure about it. The recipe was something I had never tried before," Tifa explained reaching for a glass. 

Cloud turned to put the plate away and jumped at the sound of shattering glass. Spinning on his heels he turned just in time to see Tifa collapse. 

"Tifa!"

Without a thought Cloud dropped the plate and caught Tifa before she hit the ground. The plate broke at his feet and he scooped Tifa into his arms. _She's so light,_ he realized carrying her into the living room. His mind reminded him that she hadn't been this light when he caught her in the Northern Cave. 

Laying Tifa gently onto the couch Cloud went off to retrieve a wet washcloth. With water soaked washcloth in hand Cloud returned to Tifa's side. Tifa hardly flinched as he lay the washcloth across her forehead. _What's the matter with her?_

With a soft groan Tifa stirred from her faint. 

"What happened," she whispered.

"You passed out," Cloud explained watching her. "Are you all right?"

Frowning Tifa reached up and pulled the washcloth off her forehead. "I'm okay. Just a little under the weather."

"How about I make you some chicken soup. That always makes me feel better," Cloud suggested, wanting to do something to help.

"No!"

Her response was faster than he had expected. _Why doesn't she want to eat soup?_

"I'm meant no thank you Cloud. I'm really not hungry. I'll just go upstairs and lie down for some time," she said sitting up. 

"Need any help?" he offered. 

"No thanks Cloud. I'll see you later. Give me a call," Tifa said standing and heading for the stairs.

"Yeah sure," he said to her back as she walked off. "Later."

His hands tingled with the urge to go up and grab her. To shake her and get the answers that he searched. To find out what was wrong with her. Instead he left, swearing to him self to call her and soon.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tifa collapsed onto her bed her head pounding. _I can't believe I passed out_, she thought burring her face in the soft pillow. Was it a bad sign that she had passed out? With trembling hands she reached for journal. Flipping through the dates for the last three months it dawned on her that she had been skipping her menstruation. 

Tossing the journal back onto the bedside table she closed her eyes. _I'm just a little under the weather. Like I told Cloud. It will all pass soon._

Her eyes drifted closed and the world disappeared. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*

The magazine lay open on her lap but Tifa wasn't reading it. Her eyes were focused on the models in the ads. They were smiling, filled with joy. _I guess being so skinny and beautiful can make anybody happy._

The phone in the kitchen rang dragging Tifa's attention from the ads. Jumping to her feet Tifa raced to grab the phone. 

"Hello."

"Hi Tifa, its Cloud."

Tifa couldn't help but smile at the sound of Cloud's voice. "Hi Cloud! How are you doing?"

"I'm doing good. How about yourself?" Tifa could almost hear Cloud smiling over the phone.

"I'm doing great."

"I called to wonder if you were doing anything tonight. I know its really last minute."  
"Whole evening is clear. What did you have planned?"

"Really?" Cloud sounded surprised. "Well I have these tickets to a new upscale restaurant that opened. Don't ask how I got them; I'm not even too sure myself. But I was simply wondering if you would like to go with me."

"I would love to," Tifa said with a smile. _Yes, finally a real date with Cloud. _

"Great! I'll pick you up in an hour," Cloud said.

"I'll see you then."

They said goodbye and hung up. Tifa pumped her fist in the air with a cheer. Jogging up the stairs she went to see what she had in her wardrobe. She hadn't seen Cloud in nearly five months; the outfit she chose had to be perfect.

Flipping through her hangers she searched for a decent dress. _No, I've already worn the red dress. The green dress isn't clean. My white dress has a hole in the sleeve._

Finally Tifa found what she was looking for. Her black cocktail dress was perfect. The hem of the skirt brushed the bottom of her knees. Running a comb through her brown hair she gave her reflection a little smile. _I'm so pale. Where did I put that blush_?

Searching through her drawers she found her blush. Applying it lightly she gave her reflection one last smile. Checking the clock it said Cloud should be there any minute. Grabbing a pair of black-heeled shoes, the perfect height, she was ready to go. Bounding down the stairs she could hear Cloud knocking on the door.

"Coming," Tifa called. Bouncing from one foot to the next she was able to pull her shoes on. _Lipstick!_

"Come in Cloud!" 

Tifa turned at the sound of the door opening and raced back to her room. Downstairs Cloud was mingling in the living room, tugging at his jacket. He hated having to dress up, at least it wasn't as bad as wearing a tux. His mind slipped back to the time he had to dress like a woman and he couldn't help but laugh. 

"What's so funny?"

Turning on his heels Cloud saw Tifa standing in the hallway looking at him. His eyes widened as he stared at her, his mouth unable to form words. With one hand on her tiny waist she looked at him. _She looks horrible._ Her arms were thin; it didn't look like there was any meat on her body. Her cheeks were thin, sunken in. The dress hung limply on her tiny form.

"Tifa?"

With a smile she pirouetted in her heels, the dress swinging. "How do I look?"

"Horrible," Cloud stated, without even thinking. Her face crumbled at his words, the smile turning into a frown.

"Horrible? I thought this dress was very flattering," she explained tugging at the dress. "I can change."

Shaking his head Cloud covered the distance between them in three large steps. "That's not what I meant Tifa. It's not the dress, its you."

Taking a step back Tifa almost stumbled. Reaching out Cloud grabbed her arm and froze. His entire hand reached around her upper arm with room to spare. 

"Tifa you are sick," he said.

"I am not sick," Tifa shot back. "I've been dieting."

"Does dieting mean not eating. Exercising everyday. That's not dieting Tifa. That's an eating disorder," Cloud explained his voice calm despite his nerves. He was fighting the urge to pull her to him and take her to a clinic. 

"I do not have an eating disorder," Tifa persisted. "I've been dieting."

"You are killing yourself," Cloud snapped. "If you don't eat you will die. I know it can kill you."

"How do you know?"

Blue eyes looked down unable to met hers. Never before had Cloud admitted to having an eating disorder. But to save Tifa's life he was going to overcome a dark past. "When I first went to Midgar there was a waiting period to try out for SOLDIER. I was so nervous I starved myself. Exercising everyday, not eating anything. I needed to be in shape, so I did that to myself. One of the reasons I couldn't make it in SOLDIER was because I was so weak from not eating. I could hardly handle a simple command."

With wide eyes Tifa stared into Cloud's. Tears threatened to escape both their eyes. Cloud looked into Tifa's eyes and spoke again.

"They put me into the Shinra soldier, the worst class. Zack was our instructor and he was the first to notice. He helped me a lot, showed me that it was okay. I will never forget that, never. He helped me and I'm going to help you Tifa," Cloud said softly pulling her into a hug. 

"Could I die Cloud," Tifa asked, her voice muffled by his shirt.

"Yes you can. But you won't, because I am going to help you."

Her whole body trembled as she clung to him. "I don't want to die Cloud."

Cloud placed a light kiss on her forehead. "I don't want you to die either."

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Holding hands Tifa and Cloud climbed the stairs to the clinic in Junon. Tifa clung to Cloud's hand, that being the only thing that was keeping her from bolting. She didn't want to be here, she wanted to be anywhere, but not here.

"Its okay Tifa," Cloud explained squeezing her hand for comfort. "These people are going to help you."

Nodding to Cloud, she pulled the door open and they stepped inside. A lady was sitting behind a desk smiling at them.

"Hello, how can I help you?"

"My name is Cloud Strife, I called earlier about talking to somebody about an eating disorder."

The woman sifted through some paper and nodded to herself. "Yes, Dr. Kanda Fillis will see you immediately. She's down the hall, last door on the right. Good luck Miss. Lockheart."

Tifa smiled and allowed Cloud to lead her down the hall. At the end a door stood open, a short red haired woman sat in a chair.

"Welcome Miss. Lockheart, Mr. Strife. Please come inside," the woman said getting to her feet. 

Cloud and Tifa took a seat on the couch and the Dr. closed the door. She came back and sat across from them.

"My name is Dr. Fillis, but please call me Kanda. You called earlier Mr. Strife about wanting to discuss an eating disorder," Kanda said smiling at them. 

"I have an eating disorder," Tifa said suddenly. "I want help."

Kanda reached out and gently patted her hand. "Tifa, the first step is admitting you have a problem. You have come for help, we are going to help you."

Tifa nodded, while Cloud patted her shoulder supportively. "I had an eating disorder once," Kanda explained. "I ended up in the hospital very close to death. It was only then that I realized I may have a problem. Most don't even realize it at all. It takes much strength to even admit one has a problem."

Cloud nodded. "I was the same way."

Kanda turned bright green eyes to Cloud. "It use to be so rare to hear of men having eating disorders. But it does happen. Men and woman, old and young, all can suffer from this disorder."

"Tifa, you will be staying here in a special house. There are staff members around the clock there to help you. You will be with others that are trying to overcome an eating disorder. We will reserve a spot for you and you can leave anytime you wish. Your spot will be open for three months after you leave. If you wish to return after three months you will have to register again for a spot. Nobody is turned away. Would you like to see the house?"

"Sure, that would be nice."

Kanda showed Tifa and Cloud to the house. It had ten rooms, with a kitchen, a dinning room, and living room. 

"The kitchen is open around the clock. Feel free to make yourself anything to eat. Each room houses one person. Inside each room are a bed, TV, dresser, closet, and desk."

Cloud had his arm draped across Tifa's shoulder as they walked through the house. "This is nice," he whispered in her ear.

"Would my friends be able to come by," Tifa asked, again sitting in Kanda's office.

"Of course. We have no designated visiting hours but if Cloud wanted to stop by at ten at night that's fine with us. We are not a hospital we are a help center. Our facility is to help you, not hinder you."

"What would happen if I decided not to come?"

Tifa leaned against Cloud's body waiting for Kanda to answer. 

"It all honesty a few things. You could try to resume your old life, eating, less exercising on your own. You could also go to another place."

"Anything else?"

Kanda looked up and in her eyes was a truth Tifa didn't want to accept. "You could die. Getting a simple infection like a cold could kill you. I will be honest with you, if you do nothing you will most likely die. And coming here won't always help. The person has to want to get help."

"I want to live Kanda. I'm not going to die," Tifa said with a determined smile. 

"With that attitude, you won't."

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tifa waved goodbye to Cloud as he pulled out of sight. He said that he would be back in a week and that she should call him as much as possible. 

"Would you like to meet the other woman who will be staying here with you?" Kanda asked appearing behind Tifa as she shut the door.

Tifa nodded and was led down a hall. In the living room seven women were sitting around watching TV. They were of all ages and background. 

"This is Cora, she's a single mother. Melody is a high school student. Jezza is a college student. Lisa is a mother of three. Isabelle works for a law firm. Kelly is a middle school student and Janet is another college student." Kanda explained gesturing to each woman as she said her name. 

"Everybody, this is Tifa. She owns her own restaurant in Kalm."

Everybody said their greetings and Tifa took a seat among the woman.

"You own your own restaurant?" Jezza asked.

"Yes. I use to own a bar in Midgar before Sector 7 was destroyed," Tifa explained.

"I always wanted to own a restaurant," Janet said smiling. "Having my own business one day will be amazing."

They chatted for hours until Kanda came in to get them for dinner.

"Now let me explain the dinner to you Tifa," Kanda said as they walked to the dinning room. "Meals will start out small say like a salad and rolls. You are encouraged to try and eat but we won't force you. You will be ready when you are ready, we are here to give support."

"Thank you," Tifa said taking her seat. 

Plates were placed in front of the woman and Tifa stared down at her meal. Just as Kanda said it was a salad and rolls. Silence hung over the group as they all stared at the meal. Kelly played with a piece of lettuce but that was it. Cora and Melody both took a bite and flinched with disgust but they ate it. Jezza had almost finished her salad.

"I've been here the longest," Jezza, explained when she saw Tifa staring. "Gained back twenty pounds. Kanda said if I continue on this course I could go home soon. I miss my boyfriend."

"How long have you been here again Jezza," Isabelle asked taking cautious bites of her roll.

"Four months. Trust me, the first month is the most difficult," Jezza told the group. "Janet, finish your roll!"

Janet smiled and ate the last bite. "I've been here three months and I miss my boyfriend." Janet told Jezza tossing a roll she had snatched from Kelly's plate at her.

Tifa laughed as Jezza caught the roll and tossed it back. They continued to throw it across the table.

"I wasn't going to eat that anyways," Kelly said to no one in particular. 

Tifa speared at lettuce leaf and lifted it to her mouth. With a frown she ate it. Jezza and Janet cheered while Isabelle caught the flying roll and threw it to Cora.

"The first steps are always the hardest," Melody told Tifa, patting her gently on the back. 

_I can do this. I won't die._

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tifa was sitting at her desk going over the meal plans for her restaurant. Since she had been unable to care for it from here, Cloud and the group were managing it. She had been her for one month. Glancing up the weight chart informed her that she had already gained ten pounds.

Isabelle stuck her head around the door and motioned to Tifa. "Come quick."

Tifa got up and followed Isabelle. "What is it?"

"Jezza is arguing with Kelly," Cora explained as they passed her door.

"About what?"

Isabelle shrugged. "What else. Kelly has been here almost two months and hasn't eaten a thing. Kanda said she is going to get sick with the upcoming winter. Jezza is simply worried about her."

"You have to eat something Kelly." Tifa could hear Jezza saying as they drew closer.

Kelly was sitting at the table with Jezza towering over her. Janet and Melody both stood across the table, watching.

"I don't want to," Kelly protested. "I'm still fat, eating won't improve anything."

"You only weight eight-five pounds," Janet informed her. "You are not fat."

_Eighty-five pounds? She is so tiny._

"What is going on girls?"

Kanda appeared in the doorway, taking in the picture before her. Jezza took a few steps back an innocent smile on her lips.

"Jezza I know you are only trying to help. But that is not the way," Kanda explained. "Tifa you have a visitor waiting in the hall."

Cloud appeared behind Kanda giving a wave. "Hello everybody."

"Hello Cloud," seven voices echoed.

Tifa dragged Cloud off to her room before the rest of the girls could say anything.

"What was going on out there?" Cloud asked as Tifa shut the door.

"Problems with one of the girls," Tifa explained.

"How are you doing Tifa?"

"I'm doing great. Gained ten pounds, Kanda said I am doing good," Tifa told him all smiles. 

"That's wonderful. Two months till Christmas, you have to be out in time to fix a great big dinner," Cloud said, practically drooling.

"I'm not sure if I will be out at that time. I mean totally healthy, but I will come home and make a great dinner," Tifa said.

"Come here," Cloud said holding out his arms.

Tifa walked into his arms and he hugged her. She stood in his arms breathing in his scent. 

"When you are ready I'm going to take you out for that dinner I promised you," Cloud said.

She could only smile.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tifa was asleep when Melody burst into her room. "Tifa wake up!"

Tifa bolted up. "Sephiroth! Where?"

Melody stopped and could only stare at her. "Sephiroth?"

"Sorry Melody, I was having a dream. What is it?" Tifa said climbing out of bed.

"Its Kelly. She's really sick," Melody explained as Tifa reached for her robe. 

"Kanda and a doctor are with her. They think she may have had a heart attack," Melody explained as the entered the hall. 

Everybody was crowded around Kelly's door peering in intently. Janet held her hand out and pulled Tifa into a hug.

"Will she be okay?"

Jezza turned a tear stained face to her. "They don't know."

Kelly can't die. Its three days till Christmas, she was going to go home and see her family.

"I'm sorry." Tifa heard the doctor say shaking his head.

Jezza stumbled at the words and Janet and Tifa caught her. Kanda appeared in the doorway and ushered them into the living room.

"Feel free to say anything," she said sitting across from them.

"How did Kelly die?" Cora asked blotting tears with a tissue. 

"Heart failure. Her body was unable to function anymore and it simply shut down," Kanda explained her voice heavy with emotion.

"Why did I give up on her?" Jezza whispered from where she sat between Janet and Tifa.

"It wasn't your fault Jezza," Tifa said patting the younger woman on the back.

"But I feel so responsible."

Kanda spoke softly. "Its natural to take responsibility for the loss of a friend. But you did nothing wrong. Kelly knew the risks but… I can't make this easy on you."

"I'm going to get healthy for Kelly. To live on remembering her," Isabelle said softly.

Silence bathed the room; the only sound was emitted from the twinkling lights on the Christmas tree.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Christmas came and went. Jezza and Janet finally got to return home and two new girls took their places. January faded into February and Valentines Day rolled around. Tifa decorated her room and Cloud bought her an angel statue, also a picture that read, "Saviors come in all sizes" with a picture of a kitten helping a dog. 

"Well Tifa are you ready to go home," Kanda asked her on the first day of March.

"More than ready," Tifa said. "Not that I dislike it here. I just want to go home."

Kanda read over a chart and turned a smile to her. "You are at a great weight and making wonderful progress. Pack your bags you are heading home."

Tifa couldn't help herself, she jumped Kanda and gave the older woman a hug. "Thank you Kanda, for everything."

"No Tifa. You did this all on your own. If you hadn't wanted to do anything you wouldn't be going home right now. Thank yourself." Kanda left and Tifa grabbed the phone to give Cloud the good news. 

Three days later she was packed and ready do go. She waved goodbye to Cora and Melody, the only two left from the original group. Both said they would be going home soon. Cloud moved the last box into his car and waited.

"Good luck," Tifa told her two friends.

"Call us anytime," Cora said giving Tifa a hug.

"We'll miss you. We will all have to get together soon," Melody said getting her own hug.

"Thank you. Goodbye."

Cloud pulled out of the parking lot and Tifa strained against her seatbelt to watch the house fade away.

"Happy to be free?" Cloud asked, directing his car into traffic.

Tifa turned to his and smiled. "Happy to be alive."

Reaching over Cloud took her hand and squeezed it. Tifa settled in her seat with a grin. _I did it I took control and won. I lived. I am happy_.

~*~*~*~*~*~

**Authors Note**: Sad I know. That part about Cloud, its true, men do suffer from eating disorders. Goes to show that anybody can have this disorder.

**Disclaimer**: Everything is owned by Squaresoft. I wish I owned Cloud but I don't.


End file.
